Sadly a lot of family squabble has been broadcast in the socmed. Parents need not justify their efforts in rearing their children to whom they are now. Once your children become estranged from you, whoever fault it may be, ranting against them will just aggravate your relationship. Reconciliation would be next to impossible.
The Bible teaches parents must provide and rear their children well. On the other hand, it is the responsibility of children to honor their parents. However, once either one, the parents or their children, have neglected their God-given duty and responsibility, ranting against each other would be of no good use, especially if reconciliation is your goal.
Parents who have done well raising their children should just understand. Sometimes that’s just it, children becoming independent need time and space for themselves. Like us before, they are now in the process of finding themselves or looking for a lifetime partner. Give them time.
On the other hand, if your children are more fond of having other people around them than you, perhaps you have to self-evaluate yourself and your family. You may not have a healthy family contrary to your beliefs.
But either way, learn from the story of the lost son (Luke 15:15-32). Parents should always be ready, waiting for the day their children would mature and perhaps learn from their mistakes or find in their hearts to forgive our shortcomings.
Reconciliation is always easier when no stones are thrown against each other, especially in public. Parents should sometimes learn to turn the other cheek when berated by their children (Matthew 5:39). Like them, we all are still growing and maturing.
If needed, and a good opportunity arises for conversation, always talk to your adult children with respect and a mild manner. Respect begets respect. There is no pride lost in preventing ugly words from being uttered. Keep in mind the Word of God: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
Sometimes we ought to learn to “speak no evil, see no evil, and hear no evil”. Let God be the judge and reward us for our good deeds. Parenting is a lifelong endeavor. We continue to be parents even after our children become adults. Never give up the privilege of being a parent. Always be present when called upon, never intending to interfere. Always be ready when needed, never wanting to be supported. Always on standby without judgment, caring and praying that they would not need us to step in.
Though Scripture says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother (Pro 29:15)”, keep in mind instructions and discipline should be when they are young. See the Scripture below on parenting.
“A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” (Pro 13:1)
“A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” (Pro 15:5)
“A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother.” (Pro 15:20)
“He who sires a fool gets himself sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy.” (Pro 17:21)
“A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.” (Pro 17:25)
“A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.” (Pro 19:13)
“He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.” (Pro 19:26)
“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” (Pro 23:22)
“The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.” (Pro 23:24-25)
“Whoever robs his father or his mother and says, ‘That is no transgression,’ is a companion to a man who destroys.” (Pro 28:24)
The Bible is never one-sided. See Paul’s instructions about the parent-child relationship.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:1-4)
Blessings!
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Unlearning Tradition, Relearning Scripture 